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Wise Wolf Within

sjgrosso

In moments of distress, you can learn to listen to your own wise wolf bringing comfort and compassion.


Earlier this week, I needed to have an MRI scan. Various supportive signs in the waiting room asked if I might suffer from claustrophobia and invited me to let the staff know if feeling nervous. I was fortunate that this was a routine check, yet, I still found myself feeling stressed in the waiting room; as is often the case, as anxiety is future-looking, it is often worse before an event.

 

As I waited, I took time to quietly observe how my own nervous system was reacting. I noted the tension in my chest and neck, a shortening of breath, as I moved towards that activated, sympathetic state that follows when we perceive something as a threat. I placed a hand on my belly and took some deep breaths feeling the skin nestle into my open hand.

 

When my turn came, I allowed myself to take in the kindness of the medical staff. Lying in the tunnel, I noticed myself feeling trapped. I felt myself starting to fall down the vagal ladder to the frozen state we enter when we can no longer escape.  

 

Whilst I felt tension rise, I remained in touch with the part of me that was observing and noticing: my wise wolf within. From the perspective of the trapped part, there was no escape. Yet, the wise wolf was there, waiting, with her somatic toolkit in hand to compassionately bring some comfort. Compassion is both about noticing and taking action to alleviate our suffering.

 

What could I do lying in an MRI tunnel under a heavy cloth, after being told not to move?

 

The wise wolf, that compassionate observer that stays with me (and you) always, supported me by:


- Sending compassion


Yes, I was stressed! This did not feel good! I could first recognise this and lend myself the compassion I would lend a friend in this situation.


- Rewriting the story


I noticed that from my frozen place I felt as if I were being trapped. Although I was there with caring medical staff to look after my health. Taking in this reality, I repeated silently to myself: “I am safe. I am being cared for.”


“I am safe. I am being cared for.”

- Finding the opposite sensation


I paused to notice the feeling of being trapped and to seek out a place in my body where I could find the opposite sensation. Where could I find some expansion rather than restriction? I noticed that the weighted pad they placed over my stomach felt comforting to me, like a cat curled sleeping on my stomach. I could feel my stomach press into its weight as I breathed in and out, allowing my breath to go downwards, consciously, to the belly, expanding softly like a balloon.

 

- Breathing deep


At the same time, this helped me deepen the breath. We can use our breath to help calm our nervous system by extending our out breath. I brought attention to the contact of my skin with the weighted pad, which also helped me draw out my breath and find some calm.


Find your inner wise wolf


The scan was over relatively quickly and I left grateful for my wise wolf and her soothing wisdom.

 

You too have a wise wolf, waiting to provide compassion and comfort. If you have experienced trauma, of whatever kind, their voice may have become softer; perhaps you can't hear them at all sometimes. With time and attention, you can learn to listen to them too, to support you in times of stress.


If you would like to rediscover this inner, compassionate voice, I would be honoured to support you. You are welcome to reach out for a free, introductory call.

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