These little moments of warmth and well-being are there - and we can learn to look for them
Glimmers are probably one of my favourite concepts in psychology and the one that I use most myself in my daily life. This is something I really wanted to share with you; something so small can make a big difference.
As Deb Dana explains, we have a natural tendency to focus on the negatives in life; this constant scanning for threats helps us survive. But, we can also learn to actively seek out and tune into the positives in life that are always present too. She calls these glimmers, "micro-moments of regulation that foster feelings of well-being".
"Both/and": healing trauma through mini-moments of softness
Finding glimmers means that we notice and enjoy these moments, however brief. It could be something simple like noticing a flower coming into blossom or how light catches on the surface of a lake, cuddling your pet, laughing at a joke. For me, nature, my family, friends and pet are wonderful sources of glimmers. Sitting outside on a warm, summer evening and feeling the breeze in my hair. Cutting up a juicy, ripe peach and sharing it with my son.
This does not mean that we gaslight ourselves and deny the reality of any challenges or difficulties we are experiencing. Rather, we honour the "both/and" of acknowledging those challenges, whilst also noticing these nourishing, delicious, nurturing mini-moments of joy.
Savouring
If we start to notice the glimmers that are present in our life, we can also learn to really amplify and savour them. Drinking them in so that we feel their goodness more deeply. Even if this is only for a few seconds. Rather than walking past the jasmines in the garden, we can take a brief moment to pause, take a deeper breath in and let the sweet scent envelop us like an aromatic hug.
These moments help us reconnect with our ventral vagal stage, the nervous system state in which we feel safe and connected. They allow us to practice finding our way there; the path slowly becomes more familiar so we can go back there more easily.
Which glimmers help you glow?
What brings you joy and pleasure?
Can you think of a recent glimmer? If you take a moment to recall this moment, how does it feel? Where do you feel it in your body? If it feels comfortable for you to do so, could you let that feeling grow a little bigger and take up more space, as if blowing air into a balloon?
Some resources for you
Read more about savouring (and laughter) by the beautifully compassionate Dr Arielle Schwartz.
Enjoy this beautiful music video that is full of glimmers by the Spanish group Chambao. So many moments of joy and wonder. The flashes of smiles on their faces. Swirling in cool waters under the setting sun. Dancing with strangers. Just delicious.
"Déjate llevar
Por las sensaciones
Que no ocupen en tu vida
Malas pasiones"
"Allow yourself to be carried away by your sensations
So that bad sentiments do not overwhelm your life" (My translation)
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